The Olympic Opening Ceremony was left wing, and was better for it

I had the huge privilege of being at the Opening Ceremony of the 2012 London Olympic Games, and it was fantastic.

Danny Boyle showed us all why he is one of the most artistically and commercially successful film-makers alive, he takes clichés and turns them on their heads.  Picturesque historic Edinburgh, through the eyes of a drug addict in Trainspotting.  London's busy tourist destinations but empty except for zombies in 28 Days Later and not the India of Taj Mahal but of poverty, organised crime and corruption in Slumdog Millionaire.  If we wanted a "Last of the Summer Wine" version of Britain, Danny Boyle was the wrong man to ask.

The ceremony started with the picture postcard version of England, with village cricket, maypoles, milkmaids and livestock.  That was quickly replaced with a journey through Britain's counter cultural history from the Jarrow marchers and Suffragettes, through the Sex Pistols and the Rolling Stones to a parachuting Monarch.

I was buzzing at every stage of the event, except for the parade of athletes which was great for them but less so for us.  The transformation from rural idyll to an industrial nightmare at the instigation of Victorian Capitalists with their Orwellian "strange cylindrical hats" was visually stunning culminating in molten steel Olympic rings showering sparks from the sky.

Putting the quintessentially British NHS centre stage, both literally and metaphorically, was an overtly political statement, playing Chariots of Fire would have been nice, but Rowan Atkinson taking the piss out of it (and by cheating on a run also the Olympics a little bit too) was genius.

Sneaking an image of Ken Livingstone into one of the animated sections was understandable and forgiveable seeing as he played a pivotal role in securing the Games for London and dealing with the terrorist attacks the day after.

We do (small c) conservative stuff better than anyone else in the world, Jubilees, Royal Weddings, the Ashes, the Oxford vs Cambridge boat race, etc. etc. etc.  If we had done the same last night we would have been forgiven but not remembered.  By holding a mirror up to the Britain that we are, rather than the Britain we think we are, Danny Boyle put on a show that will set the standard for many games to come.

And as a Tory I loved every lefty minute of it.

It is now time to abolish the Territorial Army (TA)

I have been a member of the TA for over 20 years but now I believe that it is time for the TA to go.  You may be shocked to read that from me but in light of the government's announcements last week I believe it is time to reevaluate the relationship between the regular and reserve forces.

I am not advocating an end to part time military service or reserve units but I am calling for an end to the rather artificial separation of the full time and part time elements of the British Army.  Please remember, there have been volunteer soldiers and part time military units in Britain for centuries, the TA celebrated its centenary just a few years ago.

There were Trained Bands (or urban militia) in London from at least the 1640s and the Yeomanry (volunteer cavalry) in the shires from 1790s and other forms of part time soldiery from much earlier still.  The current TA is an evolution and a step towards greater integration of the full time and part time army.

I believe that the convergence should continue.

Almost all TA units have a close and formal relationship with units in the Regular Army, infantry regiments have TA battalions, Cavalry and Artillery have affiliated regular regiments too.  When you see footage of soldiers in Iraq or Afghanistan it is likely that a couple of them will be members of the TA deployed alongside their regular counterparts.  The commission that hangs on the wall in my house is the same in all respects to the one that hangs in the home of a regular officer (except that mine has my name on it).  There is no separate Head of the Territorial Army, the chain of command in the same as the army as a whole.

In reality the TA is a concept, a state of mind, rather than a discreet entity.

TA soldier serving in Afghanistan

Over the last ten years our reserve forces have been deployed in all the major theatres of conflict and are seen as useful, credible and cost effective.  Yet the brand of the TA still brings with it the whiff of keen but amateurish or even slightly Walter Mitty.  This is far from the truth yet in the BBC's reporting of the rebalancing of regular and reserve numbers they chose to use footage of half a dozen blokes marching up and down in an old wooden hall.  Slightly better than Dad's Army, but only slightly.

The time has come to fully embrace the One-Army concept and only have one army, most of which is full time, a large part of which is part time.

Cat stuck in a tree or chimp in a chimney

The number of times that the London Fire Brigade get called out to save animals has shot up by almost 60% over the past six years.  The Brigade was called out to rescue 620 animals in 2011 (up from 389 in 2006) or one every 14 hours.  Just over half of the incidents involve cats and around a quarter involve dogs.


In the last few years the brigade has been called out to: 

• Rescue an iguana from a roof in Tower Hamlets in May 2007
• A parrot trapped in its cage in Waltham Forest in January 2008
• A dog stuck in a wheelchair in a flat in Richmond in May 2008
• A puppy with its head stuck in an exercise machine in a house in Hillingdon in April 2008
• A kitten with its head stuck in a jam jar in Lewisham in June 2009
• A rabbit trapped under a sofa in Havering in June 2009
• A kitten with its head stuck in a bongo drum in Newham in October 2009
• Capture a snake at a retirement home in Hounslow in July 2009
• Two dogs in a toilet in Bromley in July 2009
• A chimp in a chimney in Tower Hamlets in January 2010
• An adult hamster trapped in a disabled lift in Greenwich in April 2010
• A squirrel in a toilet in Haringey in May 2011
• A kitten trapped in a reclining chair in Croydon in May 2012

No one wants to see an animal in distress but in the first instance people should call the RSPCA rather than 999.


London Fire Commissioner, Ron Dobson, said: “It is time to dispel the old stereotype about firefighters rescuing cats from trees, our crews are highly trained emergency service personnel. If there is a cat up a tree, or an animal stuck anywhere, the first port of call should always be the RSPCA, not the emergency services. 


“Pet owners need to keep a close eye on their animals in a bid to avoid some of these situations happening. What’s worrying is that when firefighters are out rescuing animals, they’re not available to attend real emergencies.  Each animal rescue costs money and in these tough financial times, many people would question why their taxes are being spent on some of the animal rescues we’ve highlighted today.” 


Klare Kennett, spokesperson for the RSPCA, said: “We’d always advise people to call us in the first instance and if we need help we will call the fire brigade. “If you see a cat up a tree, we’d advise you leave it for twenty four hours before calling the RSPCA as they usually manage to get themselves down. After all, when was the last time you saw a cat’s skeleton up a tree?”