Now what made me think of this?

Melchett: (after a few sounds of self-satisfaction) How do I look, Darling?

Darling: Girl-bait, sir. Pure bloody girl-bait.

Melchett: Moustache? Bushy enough?

Darling: Like a private hedge, sir.

Melchett: Good, because I want to catch a particularly beautiful creature in this bush tonight.

Darling: You'll have her coming out of your moustache for a week, sir.

Melchett: God, it's a spankingly beautiful world and tonight's my night. I know what I'll say to her. 'Darling...'

Darling: (mistaken that the general's addressing him) Yes sir?

Melchett: What?

Darling: Um, I don't know, sir.

Melchett: Well don't butt in! (exhales) 'I want to make you happy, darling'.

Darling: Well, that's very kind of you sir.

Melchett: Will you kindly stop interrupting? If you don't listen, how can you tell me what you think? (continues) 'I want to make you happy, darling. I want to build a nest for your ten tiny toes. I want to cover every inch of your gorgeous body in pepper and sneeze all over you.'

Darling: I really think I must protest!

Melchett: What is the matter with you, Darling?

Darling: Well, it's all so sudden, I mean the nest bit's fine, but the pepper business is definitely out!

Melchett: How dare you tell me how I may or may not treat my beloved Georgina?

Darling: Georgina?

Melchett: Yes, I'm working on what to say to her this evening.

Darling: Oh yes. Of course. Thank God.

Melchett: Alright?

Darling: Yes, I'm listening, sir.

Melchett: Honestly Darling, you really are the most graceless, dim-witted pumpkin I ever met.

Darling: I don't think you should say that to her.